Welcome to the Flaming Faggot

Callovia is called "the boundless empire" yet you have managed to find its northern border - a notorious roadhouse deep within the Madrasan Marches on the edge of the wilds of Llanvirnesse. The sign above the door reads "Flaming Faggot," which would suggest a cozy, homey inn with fresh biscuits served at teatime if not for the severed troll heads mounted on pikes at the gate.

As you cross the threshold the raucous din quiets momentarily as all eyes dart to the door and calloused hands drop instinctively to well-worn sword hilts. The threat, instantly assessed, is dismissed and roadhouse patrons go about their business hardly missing a beat.

Grim, hard-eyed men huddle around tables in close conversation thick with conspiracy; caravan guards gamble away their earnings; Caemric rangers sit close to the fireplace cooking the damp of the Black Annis from their clothes as they warm their innards with Red Dragon Ale; minstrels play and buxom wenches dance for the pleasure of men who pay them little attention - until they need a companion to warm their bed.

As you approach the bar, a huge, bald barman with a greatsword slung across his back slides a mug of freshly-pulled ale towards you, its frothy head dripping over the rim.

"Pull up a seat, lad," he says, "and let me tell you a tale of high adventure."

Monday, June 21, 2010

Oh, the Carnage!

My long-awaited and much-procrastinated kitchen renovation began today and in the morning I'm off with my family to a cabin at Whiteshell Provincial Park for the rest of the week to avoid being underfoot whilst construction is going on.  The contractors told me, this afternoon, that this is the most difficult kitchen they've ever had to demolish, which is supported by the loud crashing, hammering and not-infrequent swearing coming from the kitchen all day.

 This entirely vindicates my decision to hire professionals for this job and not attempt to do the work myself in a misguided demonstration of manliness that most likely would have taken me three weeks and resulted in one or more trips to the emergency room.

So, I'm fleeing to the wilderness and I'm not taking any electronic doo-wackies with me so I won't be making any more posts until the weekend, at least, and there won't be a weird wonder this week.  I've been assured that the new cabinetry will be installed by the time I get back, but I'm skeptical - I'm just not that lucky.

1 comment:

P. S. Mangus said...

Have a great trip. Be safe, and have fun!