Welcome to the Flaming Faggot

Callovia is called "the boundless empire" yet you have managed to find its northern border - a notorious roadhouse deep within the Madrasan Marches on the edge of the wilds of Llanvirnesse. The sign above the door reads "Flaming Faggot," which would suggest a cozy, homey inn with fresh biscuits served at teatime if not for the severed troll heads mounted on pikes at the gate.

As you cross the threshold the raucous din quiets momentarily as all eyes dart to the door and calloused hands drop instinctively to well-worn sword hilts. The threat, instantly assessed, is dismissed and roadhouse patrons go about their business hardly missing a beat.

Grim, hard-eyed men huddle around tables in close conversation thick with conspiracy; caravan guards gamble away their earnings; Caemric rangers sit close to the fireplace cooking the damp of the Black Annis from their clothes as they warm their innards with Red Dragon Ale; minstrels play and buxom wenches dance for the pleasure of men who pay them little attention - until they need a companion to warm their bed.

As you approach the bar, a huge, bald barman with a greatsword slung across his back slides a mug of freshly-pulled ale towards you, its frothy head dripping over the rim.

"Pull up a seat, lad," he says, "and let me tell you a tale of high adventure."

Sunday, August 8, 2010

My Retirement Dream

This has been the summer of home-repair-hell.  Between a kitchen renovation, that has been going on since mid-June and last week's emergency chimney repairs, my bank account is about $30,000 lighter than it was two months ago.  Yesterday, as I was mowing the lawn and hacking down the forest of weeds that have grown out of control during this unusually  hot and humid summer, I was wistfully fantasizing about condos.  After the past couple of months, paying a condo fee to not have to worry about home repair or gardening is sounding awfully attractive.  Of course, this isn't going to be practical any time soon, but when I retire...

My grandfather used to live in a seniors retirement condo complex, and it was a pretty sweet set-up.  The unit was very comfortable and the balcony overlooked well-maintained grounds with nice walking paths throughout, and every room had an emergency pull-cord in easy reach to signal the nursing home next door.  The best part though, was all the amenities, like a common lounge and games room on every floor, and my grandfather always enjoyed meeting other residents every day for afternoons of snooker and billiards.

This got me to wondering whether role playing has become mainstream enough among those of us now in our 40's that twenty five years from now we'll be sitting around those retirement homes playing D&D all afternoon.  Now, I can't speak for everyone else, but I plan to keep gaming until they nail my coffin lid shut and I don't think I'm alone here.

I see the typical day going something like this: breakfast on the balcony with coffee and a good book, followed by miniature painting in the mid morning.  After lunch meet up with cronies to walk in the garden and bemoan the decline of modern society, punctuated by an occasional shaken fist at passing teens, after which we retire to the games room for an afternoon of dungeon exploring, monster slaying and treasure looting.  After supper, fall asleep on the couch in the middle of good movie.

Wouldn't it be cool if there was a senior's condo unit that catered specifically to geriatric gamers?  The lounge areas could have sand tables for miniatures war games, and purpose-built gaming tables with super comfy chairs.  Put some vending machines, and perhaps a Slurpee machine in easy reach and we'd be set.  I know this is a long shot, but this is a retirement dream.

I know lots of people dream about retiring somewhere warm, and they're welcome to it.  Me; I'd rather spend my remaining years sharing epic adventure and rolling dice with like-minded friends.  Who's with me?


JoetheLawyer said...

Sounds great to me!

ze bulette said...

Not the first time I've heard the notion, and probably not the last time I'll say - we should be so lucky! Also: Hell yes! Maui, Baja, or..? ;)

Shane Mangus said...

Hell yeah I am with you!

Alexis said...

As long as the retirement community I rest in is AD&D and not 4th Edition.

Sean Robson said...

We can shake our fists at those 4E whippersnappers! Besides, I predict that 4E will be extinct and long forgotten by that then.

The Acrobatic Flea said...

Count me in! That sounds a grand way to pass my twilight years.