Welcome to the Flaming Faggot

Callovia is called "the boundless empire" yet you have managed to find its northern border - a notorious roadhouse deep within the Madrasan Marches on the edge of the wilds of Llanvirnesse. The sign above the door reads "Flaming Faggot," which would suggest a cozy, homey inn with fresh biscuits served at teatime if not for the severed troll heads mounted on pikes at the gate.

As you cross the threshold the raucous din quiets momentarily as all eyes dart to the door and calloused hands drop instinctively to well-worn sword hilts. The threat, instantly assessed, is dismissed and roadhouse patrons go about their business hardly missing a beat.

Grim, hard-eyed men huddle around tables in close conversation thick with conspiracy; caravan guards gamble away their earnings; Caemric rangers sit close to the fireplace cooking the damp of the Black Annis from their clothes as they warm their innards with Red Dragon Ale; minstrels play and buxom wenches dance for the pleasure of men who pay them little attention - until they need a companion to warm their bed.

As you approach the bar, a huge, bald barman with a greatsword slung across his back slides a mug of freshly-pulled ale towards you, its frothy head dripping over the rim.

"Pull up a seat, lad," he says, "and let me tell you a tale of high adventure."

Thursday, February 24, 2011

Hazards of Gaming

Thursday night is board game and popcorn night at our house and there is always an unbridled flurry around the table as my wife and daughter and I are simultaneously grabbing for dice while reaching for the popcorn.  Tonight's antics were especially funny when, in the excitement of the moment, my wife grabbed a handful of dice and popped them in her mouth.

This is too funny not to share even if public spousal mockery gets me smacked.

3 comments:

The Happy Whisk said...

Oh but it's worth a slight shot to the head to share that story. Great stuff. Thanks for posting.

Porky said...

That is brave - not sure I'd dare put something like that out! Good story, and I sympathise

Jim said...

Envious of the fact that your wife plays. Mine used to... not much interest anymore. :(